..........and then, there are times when.
all you can do is laugh!
This page was taken from another of our web-sites that is now 'off-line" - The stories about Parenting Special Needs Children shared by our readers (and a few of our own) were too cute to let go. We are re-posting them here.
Feel free to submit your own.......    All content was posted exactly as is was submitted.
Literally speaking..........
- My son and I were in the kitchen picking out one of those little boxes of cereal to take on a long car ride.  We came across "Honey Smacks" and he exclaimed, "Why don't they call those butt smacks - those heinie smacks.....?"  Needless to say I could not speak - I was convulsed with laughter - I had never realized that he thought the word "Honey" was "Heinie" all this time.  But I could see how he came to that conclusion after examining the picture of the cereal on the box! - Submitted by DK

Literally speaking..........
- A Kindergartner whose family was moving out of the school district mid-year, wrote a good-bye letter to her teacher. She wanted to tell her how much she will miss her
They had been working very hard on sounding out words in class so she sounded out her letter to her favorite teacher, Mrs. Sheat.
"Deer Mrs SH#T"(use your imagination)......... - Submitted by SC


My son loves to write little “stories” (he thinks they are stories, but they are usually just one line).
I had been home from work for a few days with the "Flu".  It really didn’t occur to me that he had no idea what the "Flu" was and wondered why he would laugh each time I mentioned it. He decided he would write one of his one-line “stories” for me to make me feel better ……
“Mom was so high"
It took me a few minutes…… but then I realized he thought I “Flew”
Submitted by Admin

- My son was running around the house singing “I do DRUGS”!
Appalled, I asked him what he was talking about.
He lifted both his shoulders and said, “I can do drugs” and continued to lift his shoulders.
It finally occurred to me that “He does “Shrugs”!
- Submitted by DK

-My Daughter came home today and tells me that she had to do a writing prompt - ..........the subject?,....... What do you dislike?
Her opening sentence,..(a grabber for sure) was....
"Do you get hit everyday? I do, and I don't like it."
I can just hear them calling DCF now!   All I could mutter was,.....OH MY GOD!......................
Then she proceeds to tell me how she wrote about her Special Needs brother's habit of hitting and thinking it's funny (partially her fault,.she would let him do it to make him laugh),.. and how she understands he can't help it,..and she still loves him,.....  - Submitted by MD

My 6 year old plays on a T-ball league.
The Coach, in his infinite wisdom coaching a bunch of 6 year olds who have probably never played baseball before - continued to yell "Choke Up"
My son proceeded to clear his throat each time the Coach gave this direction! - Submitted by DK


A "Serious" Combination
My girls hate vegetables,..But being a good "mother" I insist that they have to have two during dinner.
So tonight,..my younger daughter,..sitting there pondering her meal and playing with the vegetables she is supposed to be eating..quietly put a couple kernels of corn on her fork,..then placed some peas along with them on the same fork.
Holding the fork at eye level to me she asks.....
"WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PORN?"    
(Peas + Corn = PORN)!!!
Needless to say, several years from now, I will have to explain what my husband and I were laughing so hysterically about! - Submitted by MD

There is not much variation or exceptions to the things that they learn:
The clothing issues that never end....

- If there is a button there - it has to be buttoned up!
My son tries to button everything right up to his neck, only because there is a button there. If I try to make him leave the top button undone, he walks around with his chin holding the top of his shirt or jacket closed.
After years of this battle, I discovered if I cut the top buttons off, there is no problem! Submitted by Admin


- You don't wear your clothes in the pool. If Mom says it's okay to go in because we forgot the bathing suit, you take off all of your clothes (in front of more than 20 people) faster than she can get up to stop you - and go in naked. - Submitted by Admin

- You don't wear your shoes in the water, so water shoes are out of the question.
- Submitted by Admin

- You don't go out side with your Pajama's on, not even to step out on the porch to hold the door open for someone as they are pleading with you while
carrying the largest poinsettia plant ever grown. - Forget it if there happens to be a fire!
- Submitted by PB

A Few Little "Funnies"
- My son, who was non-verbal until he was seven, still uses sign language often. As  Christmas gifts to his sign language teacher and to one of my friends, he gave them  Christmas ornaments of the "I LOVE YOU" sign. I - assuming that the "I love you" sign was pretty much universal, was surprised when my friend thanked him for the "Rock On!" ornament!
- Submited by Admin

- My son loves bread, more than just about any food. A few days ago, a friend of mine baked bread for Christmas gifts. She delivered two loaves to our house, one Cinnamon and the other was a small "personal size" loaf of plain bread.
We immediately had to make toast when he saw the Cinnamon bread.
Later, when he was giving me his breakfast order (which he does every night before bed), he requested the "Elf Bread". Not really understanding what he meant, he went to the counter to show me the little 'personal size" loaf of bread - "Elf Bread!" - Submitted by Admin

- One day I had to take my son for what would be a very long Doctor Appointment. The parking area was one that you paid the parking attendant in the booth near the entrance to the building, not in the lot itself.
It was pouring rain when we went in but we were in the office for so long, the rain stopped by the time we came out.
I was standing at the parking attendant’s booth counting change to pay for our parking before we walked to the car. As I was counting my son began to yell, “Hurry Up, Mom!” – I noticed the attendant laughing and I turned to see my son standing directly under a drainpipe – water pouring directly down on his head!
He thought it was still raining!
I said “Bob, move over” – confused, he moved, put his hands out to check for rain and said “Oh”.
- Submitted by DK

Children hear and remember everything (especially when you think they are not listening)
- When a teacher turns to her assistant and says "It's so hot in here, I'm dying."  -
You can guarantee that at least one student will go home in tears to tell his/her parents that Mrs.Blank is dying. Oh well, it was time for a Parent - Teacher meeting anyway. – Submitted by JT

- When his "Step Dad" tells him jokingly "P.U. you stink! Time to take a bath".
Just realize that you will get a note home from school the following day informing you that your son was telling everyone he encountered "P.U. - You Stink!"
- Submitted by Admin

You can NEVER be too specific
While learning “grocery shopping” in the classroom; his plastic cart full of plastic food... he was told that it was time to "put everything on the counter to pay" – Instead of taking the food out of the cart, he lifted the entire cart onto the counter!
- Submitted by Admin

- When you tell your child to pull his sweat pants down over his socks and he proceeds to PULL HIS PANTS DOWN from the waist to his ankles - You know you were not specific enough with your request.
- Submitted by Admin

You can NEVER anticipate what will come out of their mouths!
- While in line at a crowded grocery store, your child decides to recite a line from a favorite movie (something he does on a regular basis): "Please don't send me back! I like it here!" (Disney's Summer Magic)
- Submitted by Admin

- It's never too crowded a place to announce anything regarding bodily functions:
While shopping at the Disney Store: Your 12 year is asked by his “Step Dad” if he was able to wait a few minutes to go find a restroom - He yells at the top of his lungs "POOP!"
- Submitted by D.W.

- Not many people know, off the top of their head's, the name of the black cat in Cinderella. I do! - only because my son is obsessed with Cinderella - he recites lines and characters at the drop of a hat.
Today as we walk into Day Care, he says good-bye, takes a bow and in his loudest voice, bellows "And Thank You Lucifer!" - Submitted by Admin

- While writing his Christmas letter to Santa - my son wrote "Baby".
Thinking he wanted another baby doll this year,
I asked if that was what he wanted - "BABY FOR MOM"
(I let that go unanswered).
Later I noticed he added "GIRL" to his list.
- Submitted by Admin
"Funnies"
- My son was dying to be in the Christmas Play at our church. He got the part of one of the Three Kings.
Apparently he did not understand that he has to stand on the stage in front of the whole church when he took the part, until the night they were getting ready to perform. He tried to beg out at the last minute, but his father insisted that he perform.
My son searched for the largest crown he could find. When he took the stage, he stood there with the crown down over his face to his neck, throughout the entire play.
- Submitted by DK
Warm and Fuzzy
My daughter, who is begining to develop a rather sarcastic sense of humor, went out with her dad today for a "daddy daughter day". My husband called while they were out...they are at Applebee's now,..eating lunch,..so I asked my daughter,.."who makes better mashed potatoes,..(her favorite),..them or me???"
This was her answer......
"Well,..do you want the "white lie" kind of answer that gets you all warm and fuzzy or do you want the other one?"  - Submitted by MD
Safety First
Please keep in mind these very important things when doing home renovations...of any kind!
Make sure all tools are properly stored away when not in use.
Tools can be very dangerous when in the wrong hands as I have found out the hard way. Hammers will make holes in walls, VERY BIG ONES, where you may not want them, especially sheetrock walls.
Nails do and will go in anywhere... walls, NEW FLOORS, cabinets...etc.
Take all sharp objects, especially hair clippers and hide them! Anywhere ......high and out of sight of the future pet barber!
Yes by leaving out the hair clippers (mind you they were stored in the proper box with a lock on it, but it does help if you LOCK the box that they are in!), My Son, the future Elvis impersonator/bagger at Stop & Shop/McDonalds fry boy/ dad and now pet barber, decided that not only did Bennie & Fuzzy need a trim but our beloved neurotic dog Lester needed one too.
I came home last night to that little experiment. He was SOOO proud of what he had done. The dogs on the other hand....well.... it looks like they will be a little less hairy on some parts of their bodies.
Mind you, this took place while I was hard a work and when the babysitter was here, both days. She was watching Full House in the family room and my son told her he was playing school in his room. The dogs were his students.
They don't look too bad (It's a good thing they have no place of importance to go) but it will take a while before it grows back.
All of you should thank your lucky stars that you are not one of my son's students!!!!!  - Submitted by DB
When the "meaning" is there, but the words don't come out right.
- My teen age daughter, suffering from the effects of her "time of the month" asked
"Mom, why can't I just be "spaded" (spayed)?"
- Submitted By S.C

- While driving to church at Christmas time, my daughter decided it was not fair
that Christmas was only one day while Hanukah was eight full days, she asked
"Mom, why can't we be Jewish?".
My second daughter piped in immediately "We can't be Jewish! We're decaffeinated!" - Submitted By S.C.

"Mitey" Confused
When I noticed that my two youngest children seemed to be on a very serious "hunt" for something in the house. I asked them what they were looking for so intently.
They replied "Termites"! I asked what made them think that we have termites in our house and in the back of my mind, begining to worry that someone had knocked a hole in a wall somewhere.
They told me that their older brother told them that he had termites in his bed!
After thinking about it for awhile, I realized that while trying to convince my teen age son that yes, he DID have to change his sheets once in awhile I showed him pictures of DUST MITES on the internet and explained that they stick to your skin cells and bite. We'll apparently he misunderstood and now I wonder how many other people think he has termites in his bed!
- Submitted by DK

- Your son whacks his Little League Coach in the head with a bat: Both you and the Coach are thrilled because this was the first time he attempted to swing at ANYTHING! - Submitted By D.W.

- You attend your Parent/Teacher conference: Your son's teacher jubilantly announces that your son and his friend were cheating from each other's papers. You are as thrilled as she, because this means he finally realized (on his own) he was supposed to be doing something other than just sitting there -
and also figured out, ON HIS OWN,how to find out just what it is he was supposed to be doing. - Submitted by Admin

- My son's teacher had begun working very intensely on "potty training" with my son at school.
One day we were home and my husband went into the bathroom and my son decided to "visit" him.
After a while I heard my husband yell "I need some help in here". Annoyed and thinking "Can't he do anything for himself" - I went to the bathroom.
There was my son,proudly (because he was helping) standing in front of his Dad ready with the wad of toilet paper! Each time my husband moved in either direction, my son got ready to "wipe him"!
It's great to see that some of the potty training sunk in!
- Submitted by M. Niski

- It was a "bittersweet" morning when I discovered that almost all the "sled" ornaments from the Christmas tree had been removed and crushed on the floor.  After watching my son for a few minutes we discovered just who the culprit was.
While we watched he carefully removed a sled, (which are many),..gingerly placed it on the floor and then ever so slowly sat on it!
I was dismayed that our collection was reduced to only a few "on higher ground" but thrilled he finally realized what a sled is for!! - Submitted by MD

- My son started saying "shut up" quite often. I realized that he picked it up from Princess Diaries. I knew he had no idea what it really meant, but he continued to say it.
Last night he was in the car with one of his friends. His friend always talks a blue streak as soon as he gets into a car. Finally my son turned to him and said "Shut Up".
His friend's mother called me on the phone very excited because she knew that it meant my son actually knows what the word means. - Submitted by VC as told to by DB

My son participates in Special Olympics Swimming, he's in his 4th year. Two years into swimming he realized (and we never thought to tell him) that he CAN OPEN HIS EYES UNDER WATER WITH GOGGLES ON! All that time he was swimming, wearing goggles and keeping his eyes shut. - Submitted by Admin

The milestones WE Celebrate
- You wake up each morning for 4 weeks straight to the tune " Angelico Cat"
over and over AND.............. OVER
Then one morning you wake to "We Go Together Like Yabada"
  It is a milestone  - but alas - short-lived, as this becomes the new morning anthem!
- Submitted by DB
Just trying to HELP..........
- My son likes to help.
He can become extremely helpful........like the time he removed all the bamboo stakes from the tomato plants (all twenty of them,) and put the stakes back in the shed where they belong, vines and all.

or.... the time he decided to "weed" the vegetable bed and pulled everything out,..weeds,. veggies, everything green,  then proceeded to dispose of them in the swimming pool,..clumps of dirt and all.

He will constantly dismantle any rock wall I construct only to move the rocks to their original pile in back of the shed. – Submitted by MD

Television Strikes Again!!!!!!!
- Recently while grocery shopping with my sons, I had asked my son with special needs, to get me some orange juice. Feeling so proud that I would ask him and with his older brother just a few short steps behind him - off he went. As his brother watched in amazement, my youngest son climbed up into the cooler and put his hand so far in where the orange juice was as if he was searching for something. When my oldest son came to his aid he asked "what are you doing in the cooler with your hand stuck in there?" His reply was "I'm trying to reach Florida" Now for anyone who watches television commercials, this is one for the books. – Submitted by DB

Grocery
pants
Flu